Letting all my anger out

I hate being at home all the time. It’s so annoying to just be here and do nothing but home work. I hate how my life is and I hate everyone in it. I feel like I’m mad at the world. There’s so much crap I have to deal with and it pisses me off! I feel like everyone treats me like a freaking little kid and no one trusts me. This world is crap and I’m done with it. There are so many people that I hate and wish I never knew. Friends, ex boyfriends, even my own family! My family puts me through so much and I feel like they’re always on my back. There’s only so much I can take, I can’t handle that much. I’m not strong, I’m probably the weakest person you’ll ever meet. I know that I look happy on the outside and full of spirit, but on the inside, I’m dying, crushed, and just hurt. I hate that no one can trust me anymore. I’ve been through so much this year and I want to die and get it over with, I want to leave this world. I’m just so angry at the world!!! This stupid, worthless piece of crap world. I’m broken and depressed, always have been and I always will be. There’s times where I wish I could tell my parents that I hate them but I know that I can’t say that to them. I wish I could just let all my feelings and anger out to them and be straight up with them like I am with everyone else. Instead of saying things to other people in my family like saying that I hate

them, I’d rather slit my wrists because I don’t know one else in my family to feel the pain that I felt and still feel by them. I hurt myself so others can’t, but that doesn’t seem to work, I still get hurt all the time… by my own family! I’m just real tired and I want to die because I feel like I’ve also hurt my parents and family. I feel like if I die, there wouldn’t be anymore issues, everyone would feel happy and me; well I’d feel free. I’d be happy that I’m gone because when you’re dead, you don’t feel a single thing. I want to be able to not feel anything. I like sleeping a lot, not because I’m a lazy person, but because it’s like a temporary death and you don’t feel nothing. I wake up everyday wishing I didn’t. I’m hated a lot at school and I feel like my family is starting to hate me as well. Now that everyone hates me, I’m starting to hate myself too, which sucks because no one deserves to hate themselves but I guess I have to hate myself to love everyone else around me. There's times where i just want to go to the middle of no where and just scream at the top of my lungs as loud as i can. I have a lot more to say but I know I’m already writing a lot, so I’m going to stop it here and continue writing more on another post some other day.